Photograph by Shawna Herring Photography
Tonight, all dressed for bed, Dotter and I played with her toys. For a tiny unconscious moment she reached out and held my hand. As her tiny hand gripped mine I remembered her as an always gripping infant. That sure grip bonding tiny creatures to those lucky enough to be close to them. I miss that grip. My missing is a mix of celebration and mourning. I love Dotter's eleven month old laughter, words, walking attempts and hugs. These are all joys that did not accompany her infant grip, but the thought that she will grow away from my side only experience both hardships and happiness beyond what I can anticipate is, at times, unbearably painful as well as incredibly exciting.These feelings that I am lucky enough to feel are the closest thing to the Divine that I can imagine. They are feelings that knit me to my parents and ancestors. They are emotions that initiate me into a sisterhood of mothers, into a family of parents that goes back and back and back. These experiences both double my joy and my sorrow but as I said the first moment I saw my Dotter's beautiful face after hours of labor and an unexpected c-section, "I want to do this every day". And I do.
17 comments:
Beautifully written.
Dotter is lucky to have a mother as loving and dedicated as you. :)
I am always a little sad when my babies hit their milestones. It means they are getting closer and closer to the day when they won't want to be by my side every minute. I am especially sad as Benson grows older, knowing he is most likely my last. It is bittersweet, because I am looking forward to the next phase in our lives too.
made me cry. i can't wait. i can't. freakin. wait.
beautiful words- and exactly true for all mothers
so beautiful! You are a gift to me.
Why would write these words when you know my emotional state towards babies and kids and how mine are growing up too fast?
Why?
Do you like making me cry?
;) Love you.
This has left me with few words, just a sincere mmmmmm...thank you for sharing the moment and helping me look even more forward to my soon experience.
You inspire me.
As a great, wise, beautiful, talented woman once said of me, "you are rad. I like you."
I shall go finish my good cry on the bus-train (frontrunner) with my beautiful amazing daughter on our "girl day adventure"
aren't we blessed to be mothers?
Amazing
I love this. I'm so feeling this these days.
We are so blessed to have you as a daughter-in-law. Thank you for being you.
I don't even have kids, but I ache when I read this. Time is going by too quickly, and I know it will be more so when I have kids. This is great... in a sad but true way. Life is so full of joy.
ashely, i've read this over and over since you posted.
i don't know what else to say but that you warm my heart(:
i'm grateful for your example. i hope you know that.
You have such a way with words, Ashley, and your gratitude is so clear. Thank you for sharing this with us!
ya for babies... PS i see Dr. Wold! :)
tears.
running down my cheeks.
one of my favorite images...ever.
Gasp. The photo, the words, everything. Having babies has brought me closer to God than anything else. Sounds like you can relate. Thanks, Ashley!
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